ugh... morning again. [mental note: must freebase iron tablets immediately] it's too quiet. where's bijou? and my love? oh holy hell! where the fuck is my new sari comforter!

and i have white walls. white fucking walls! this is a dream. it has to be a dream. i can also see clearly! oh, i'm so not waking up - this is clearly heaven, minus the comforter, of course.

hey! hard wood floors, large windows, a door that shuts! where the fuck am i. and what is this burning in the back of my throat? lorda mercy i think i want ... yes, i definitely want ... a bloody mary! that's it! i want a bloody mary. but why? i hate the things. oh no, i don't hate them, i LOVE them. with passion.

alright, let's pee first, argue with self later. but where's the bathroom? there's no bathroom! hallway - room - room, no fucking bathroom. where am i?!

i detect ... coffee. yes! coffee. here's the bathroom! but, there's coffee. coming from ... outside that door! OUCH! where'd the headache come from? i wonder if i can find some sambuca for that coffee? i wonder if i can even find that coffee. no choice but to try.

******

rory bustles into luke's diner with her standard i'm-cute-and-smart smile while lorelei fights with curt just outside. she orders two blueberry muffins and two coffees. lorelei comes huffing in behind her, ready to launch into their usual meaningless, though clever banter.

"so when's your date?" rory asks her with a coy and innocent look.

"coffee? yes, coffee!" lorelei avoids, as luke slams two to-go cups in front of them. "ooh, bad day," lorelei quips under her breath.

luke cuts her a "don't fuck with me" glance and proceeds to wipe down the already shiny counters. a youngish couple make their way to the counter. luke looks at them and then turns to the bagels.

the couple raise their eyebrows at each other and leave. as the jingling door signals their exit, rory turns to her mother's sharp intake of breath.

"luke!" lorelei squeals, horror on her face.

rory and luke, and several diner patrons, turn in the direction of lorelei's stare. standing at the foot of the stairway is a disheveled young man - longish blonde hair matted on one side, crust in the corners of his eyes and mouth, slight shadow of facial hair. he is wearing nothing but a dingy pair of white boxerbriefs and tube socks. his green eyes show confusion, but shock slowly registers in them, forcing them wide, the white showing on all sides.

******

okay. fuck the coffee! back up the stairs - oh, yes. my horrible manners saved my ass this time, door is not shut. shut it. lock it. oh. my. god. i'm a fucking man now?! i've got a dick! i've got to get out of here!

but, how the hell did i get here? and why won't this burning ... this craving ... go away? there's got to be something here. hmm. fridge - molsen ice in a can. that's a good start. ohhh, damn this feels good going down. now maybe i can think.

last night. what did i do last night?! i remember - there was dinner with dwight, then babette's for dessert ... then we went to the piano bar. yes! and some idiot named curt was singing the standards. and there was a slim, dark guy at the bar. yes yes yes! i remember! his name was jess. i stayed with him after babette went home... well, though she pleaded with me not too. but there was something about him. there was something about me. i was a man then, too, wasn't i?!

but what happened then? shit, it's too fuzzy ...

******

"jack!"

i almost dropped my molsen at the screeching of my name from across the room. it was jess, my dark haired companion from last night.

"where'd you go? i woke up and you were gone." now standing directly in front of me, jess' face was a mixture of concern and anger. "you didn't wake up luke did you?"

"uh, i don't know a luke. i ... uh, did you and i ... i mean, what am i doing here?" i tried not to stammer, but my body was responding to his and my confusion was growing.

"you don't remember?" jess looked at once hurt and relieved. he rested his hand lightly on my hip, his fingers warm above the waist of my boxerbriefs.

he leaned in to kiss me. i saw him in a flash: dark hair at wild angles, sharp elbows and long lean thigh; lips wide and impassive on my collar bone; slim fingers cupping, kneading.

i snaked a hand into his thick hair, giving into him, giving into my vivid recollection of our previous evening as someone smashed through the door.

******

jack, now wearing his rumpled khakis and polo shirt from the night before, and jess (still in his boxers) sit on opposite ends of the couch. luke paces in front of them.

"who are you?" luke demands.

"i'm jack" jack answers.

luke seems ready to stroke out, but jess steps in. "look, he's a friend of mine who stayed the night. why do you care?"

luke's eyes bug out. "you were kissing!"

jess shrugs nonchalantly. "i kiss a lot of people."

"look, i just want to go," jack stands, looking around for anything he might have left behind. "jess, i'll see you around."

jack heads for the door, ignoring jess' and luke's continued argument. the door is shutting behind him as luke yells, "so you're gay now?!"

jack cannot see whether jess denies or affirms luke's accusation. he sees only the wiry dark hair under jess' arms, those wide hands on his chest, the soft blue veins riding gently under the pale skin of jess' belly.