in honor of my girl's nightmare entry, i thought i'd divulge my most horrible one for y'alls loving eyes.

from the age of 9 through about 13, i would occasionally dream of Pedro. Pedro looked much like the Columbian coffee guy (you know, with the donkey). He had the same poncho, wore a sombrero, and had a thick mustache.

He drove a large blue el camino. now, back then i didn't know what an el camino was, so i called his car a car-truck. so, Pedro drove a large blue car-truck.

at the time of this dream, my mother, sisters and i lived in public housing. my father was off in rehab or prison or some other place that wasn't our home. there was a wood fence that ran along one side of the complex road. it was the average fence, not one of those high, pointy, block-your-view fences.

[yes, i am getting somewhere with all this]

it was common for the kids in our neighborhood to chill out on this fence. we'd hang out by it, carve our names into it, sometimes lunge off of it. well, in my dream, all my friends and i would be sitting on this fence, much like birds on a wire. we'd be perched there, minding our own business.

then we'd hear Pedro's car. he'd come creeping from around the corner in his old blue car-truck with a shotgun cocked and aimed. he shot my friends one by one. picked them off like cans in a redneck's backyard. i was always the last in line and be forced to watch my bloodied friends fall backward off the fence.

when pedro got to me, he'd keep his gun aimed at me, but he just stared into my eyes as he rolled past. i'd be too afraid to speak, to move, to avert my eyes or shield my self in any way. he'd stare so deep into me and keep that shotgun trained on me and cruise slowly slowly past.

i'd wake up screaming, but not until he'd passed me completely. i'd wake up so scared and shaken that even though i knew to expect him in my dreams, i never did anything to change the outcome or events in the dream. i never attempted to leave the fence. in my dream i'd be listening for Pedro drive up, but i'd never warn anyone else. i'd never clue my friends in to their danger.

Pedro also tortured me while awake. well, just in the minutes before sleep. i'd be laying in the darkened room i shared with my sister and i'd see a shadow pass our window. i knew it was him, but i wouldn't say anything. i didn't want him to hear me and know where i lived. i'd lay there and try not to breathe and try not to fall asleep and winding up doing both.

damn. it's been a long time since i dreamed of him. it's been a long time since i thought about that dream. i mean, it really haunted me. what do you suppose it meant?