i must admit i have a crush on our canadian IT guy.

now, i must also admit that i very rarely, if ever, form crushes on white people. it's not that i have anything against them, necessarily, it's just that the whole pale-skin-burn-in-the-sun-thin-lip-god-please-find-me-a-skinny-woman-or-make-me-into-one-so-i'll-be-loved thing ain't my style. so, i've had limited exposure to white men in crush form.

i've dated (in no particular order) men and women of color from north and south carolinas, virginia, dc, boston, new york, texas, louisiana, florida, california, bermuda, st. lucia, aruba, jamaica, cape verde, costa rica, puerto rico, dominican republic, haiti, mexico, guatamala, honduras, peru, brazil, ghana, senegal, eritrea, kenya, nigeria, and zimbabwe.

i've probably left out some countries, but you get the jist. so what i'm saying here is that my definitely school-girl, though still all too real crush on this white canadian guy is too much for me.

he's so white he has freckles and can't wear yellow or orange. how in the world do i have a crush on a guy who can't wear yellow or orange?! dude, all i can say is that there's nothing quite like dark smooth skin set off by an orange fleece. nothing.

back to my subject: so, there's geoff, the canadian guy. and he's so fucking funny! and cute, though in a weird cartoon way. actually, sometimes i think of him as a wallace and grommit character. but, he's cute! and funny! and very married with a pregnant wife, but hey, just the same, i've got a crush on him.

we just talked about tv survivor for like 30 minutes and his snarky, cynical commentary had me in stitches. we have decided we are the funniest people we know. canadian geoff has dark hair and eyes (one of my prerequisites) and his lips are naturally dark (not black, but not skin color either). he's got good skin and, while it doesn't look good in the aforementioned colors, there is a tint of tan.

i can't explain. it's no use. suffice it to say (i always think of basketball diaries when i say that) that this crush, which i actually nurse by thinking of witty topics for us to snark on and giving him my best smile while doing so, is one that i will not act on. i mean, even though he is married and his wife is pregnant, i have a boyfriend. and, though i've never really been faithful before, i'm feeling very secure in my relationship with my love and our union has yet to be marred by extracurriculars and i plan to keep it that way.

so i have problems with commitment and monogamy. so i have a huge crush on canadian geoff and some small ones on my hot honduran student and maybe a teensy one on my beautiful shuttle driver. so what? i am an adult and i can have crushes and nothing has to come of them. even the white ones.

hey, maybe white crushes are easier to avoid that others. maybe i lucked out in finding a white guy to crush on. my question is, are all canadians this cool? cause, honestly, he's my first real life in the flesh canadian not met in niagra falls. so, maybe i'm falling for a culture here.

anyhoo, back to my book now. oh, and just so you know, my love is almost a white guy. he's mixed (like me), but definitely looks more white than anything else. so, technically, i can't be racist cause my love's white.

yeah, the book.