monday morning. i'm just not good at these. since i started teaching, my son has been going to his father's in the evenings. in return, i have taken all the weekends. that means no sleeping in. ever.

monday through friday i wake somewhere between 5 and 5:15am. i usually go to sleep around 11 (sometimes later if the insomnia seeps in). fridays i might stay up til 1am or so to spend time with my love when he returns from work. usually, though, something inside me shuts off no later than 11:30, so try as i might, i'm sleeping by midnight.

and it used to be that every other weekend, i could spend whole morning hours in the bed. i could roll around and read or watch tv or take a phone call all from the sanctuary of my queen-sized comfort. that is no longer.

my pluck had forgotten how to sleep in. i had him going til 9am on good days. this weekend, however, he was awake at 7am and hyper, bouncing in the crib and yelling my name over and over again (MA! MA! MA! MA!). i'd try to doze on the couch while he watched teletubbies, barney or dragon tales, but no such luck. the kid hates it when i'm sleeping around him. he'd crawl on top of me, lick my face, stick his fingers up my nose.

so, i'm so sleepy this morning and there's no one to blame by myself. i HAD to stay up last night and watch anna nicole. i HAD to finish my book saturday night (keeping me up til past midnight). i need to learn how to turn the lights off and sleep BEFORE i'm tired enough to pass out.

i think i've forgotten how to settle myself. i spent months teaching it to my pluck. i had to endure the screaming and tantrums at bed time all so that we could have the relative ease of a toddler gently drifting off to sleep at a reasonable hour without dramatics. so he can do it now (thank god), but i can't? that's definitely something i have to work on, though i tell myself that every monday.

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i just remembered to tell you about the fair. the kid loved it. he's too small to go on any rides alone, but we were able to take him on most if we accompanied him. so, little plucky duck started out frozen in fear, but by the end of his first ride (cousin to the Pirate Ship), he was clapping and laughing and throwing his arms in the air. he loved it! he especially liked locating me in the crowd and waving at me. i was so proud of him!

he and my love fed the animals (i stood to the side with a bottle of hand sanitizer to keep us from walking away with foot and mouth. and we sprayed ourselves down before we went in as to avoid west nile). the goats and llamas flocked to my chubby faced lil boy and he almost fell out with fear, but when my love held him, he was fearless and brave, holding his cupped palm right under the slobbery mouths of the animals.

and, he won a stuffed snake (toy, you weirdo!) and a goldfish. my love failed in all his attempts to win us something, but not my plucky. he won over and over again. granted, one could say the level of difficulties are different, but i know the truth of it and that is that my plucky is amazing.

so the wee boy refused to nap saturday, so by the time we had him in his carseat and were leaving the fairgrounds, he was o-u-t out. no waking that one. (but i'll be damed if he wasn't bright and shiny and 7 o' damned clock on sunday!)

so, all in all, a fun, but tiring weekend. i am focusing all my efforts on just getting through to friday as monday i will NOT be in this horrible cube.

happy monday to you all.