i've made a breakthrough.

see, my adult life i've had a problem with commitment. i've avoided it like the plague [see my inner child].

well, i've been doing soooo good, and i am beginning to understand Love and how it can change the way you see things.

why? tell me, why did i contemplate going to lunch with a coworker? oh, not just any coworker. no, that would be harmless. this is Alex, the hot latino contractor. my lord. he is simply gorgeous. and really cool. and he keeps asking. and i keep considering, but saying no.

the funny part about this is that he knocks me off balance. i mean this literally. i almost fall every single time i'm around him. usually it's after i've smiled and turned to walk away. he's always watching and he never laughs, just cocks an eyebrow as if to suggest i'm denying my desire to spend alone time with. as if suggesting that i am off balance by my attraction to him.

i don't think that's what it is. i think he definitely flusters me, but i'm inclined to believe it's completely chemical. haven't you ever met someone like that? someone who always throws you off?

if only he weren't so fucking beautiful.

but, i'm being strong and finding my priorities and realizing that it's the attention i like more than the man.

so that's good.